So, in an attempt to better understand E, and make myself a better mother, AND try to figure out what is up with all his fussiness, I borrowed Dr. Sear’s Parenting the Fussy Baby and High Need Child from the library. Well, according to Dr. Sears, E shows many qualities of a fussy baby.
Intense-E is super intense. When he eats solids, his hands shake because he is so excited. His doctor has said many times that he is an intense baby.
Hyperactive-Don’t starting going all ADD on me-it’s just that E is very busy. This term, as Dr. Sears points out, does not mean that the child will have ADD or some form of hyperactive disorder, simply that right now they have crazy energy. I guess E takes after me on that one.
Draining-Um, yea. Every day, all day, E drains me of every ounce of my being. Sometimes in a good way, sometimes in a not so good way. At least he’s getting all of me, there’s no substitutions!
Feeds Frequently-9 times a day in 13 hours, need I say more?
Demanding-Yup, E is demanding. If I put him in his high chair to attempt to do the dishes (mind you he has toys, is facing me, and I am talking to him the WHOLE time), he won’t let me do them. Sometimes if I give him a snack to eat while I do the dishes, he’ll comply, but it’s only with food.
Awakens Frequently-Only in the nap sense, but he does. No more than 30 minutes go by and WAH! he has awoken. Nighttime is his time to shine, sleep wise.
Unsatisfied-I can’t tell you how many times a day I try everything I can think of to calm down E, entertain him, make him happy, and often nothing seems to fit the bill. He knows exactly what he wants, and I don’t. That’s a problem.
Unpredictable-Dr. Sears mentions in this ‘trait’ that the babes have some sort of mood swings. Sometimes A and I will wonder what we’ve done to upset E. “He was just so hapy a minute ago. What went wrong??”
Supersensitive-E is very sensitive to new places and new people. When we went to NH around Christmas, we were there for a few nights and each night, he wouldn’t sleep-I think he slept a total of 12 hours in 4 nights while we were there. Wow.
Unable to be Put Down-My body aches every day from carrying him around. He is starting to weigh so much and still insists, and is happiest, when I’m holding him.
Uncuddly-YEA! He doesn’t fit this one. Thank goodness. I want so badly for him to be cuddly.
Not a Self-Soother-Nope, not at all. He sucks A and my fingers, not his own. He can’t figure out how to self soothe…
Separation-Sensitive-I’m not so sure on this one…I suppose it’s described that he really needs me around, which has been the case before, but we haven’t been separated too much recently. He does seem more anxious around strangers now though…which is also where he’s supposed to be developmentally…oh well.
So, out of all of the above, E fits into all but one category. I’m not so sure about the advice given in this book-a bunch of it is wearing your babe around (seriously, I am in so much pain already), different soothing techniques, things that just haven’t worked for us. They claim that ‘this too will pass’ but it is so difficult to see the future when I’m living in this day to day. One of the only ways I can get through it is by waking up, taking each day as a new day. I can never stay frustrated or angry with E…all his little mannerisms make him so incredibly easy to love. I just hope his time being a newborn and infant does not completely put A and me off having another child.
