Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.  

— Mac McCleary

I realized something today, after E’s two grandmother’s left.  When I am not able to have ‘me’ time during his nap, the day drags on so much.  I would think the days we go to visit people, have visitors, etc. would somehow pass by quicker than other days.  But it never seems to happen that way.  Today I realized why.  I value the E’s naptime so much.  Even if it’s just time for me to do some cleaning, it’s time to myself.  When I am somewhere, or someone is here, I am not able to have that time for myself when he is napping.  It’s my little way to recharge.  And I need it so!

I have hit a slump.  I have stopped doing that admin job (thank GOD!)…it will be over soon.  The Barefoot Books thing I need to get a bit more motivated to do.  But I would really like to make some more money for our family.  I have these mini panic attacks about how much everything is going to be soon and cannot believe how much prices have already risen on basic items.  Most of all, I would love to save for a house.

But what am I supposed to do?  If I were to get a teaching job (what I have my Master’s in), my pay would cover childcare, and possibly not much else.  But I’m not even sure that I want to go back to working full time.  Yet every job I look at, it seems that the part time ones don’t pay enough for me to be working and paying for childcare.

So, now what?  Just continue along down this path being a stay at home mom.  Or is there some other alternative out there?