BarefootinBoston

or in our case, sprint off!

Today we had plans to go visit A for lunch, which we try to do weekly.  Well, instead of driving in, I thought it may be a fun adventure to take the bus in.  Save a little on the pollution, try something new out with E.  Um…never again (well, not in the next month at least).

The ride to A’s work was ok.  E was patient while waiting (we maybe waited 10 minutes) and once on the bus, so long as he was standing up or in my lap, he was very content.  Most of the trip in was spent with his head on my shoulder, which I won’t lie, I LOVED.

We got to A’s work, E was fussy whenever he was in his stroller.  A suggested that it may be teething-good thinking on his part as E has been pretty fussy for no apparent reason today and a bit yesterday.  I didn’t even consider teething.  While having his lunch, while walking to the bus stop, while waiting for the bus to go home, E was fussy.  This does not bode well for the return trip home.

We got on the bus and E was ok for a bit.  He started writhing and crying and so I thought I may as well give him his bottle since at least that would settle him down.  I put E down on the seat  next to me (we had stopped to let people on, and there were many people) and started to pour the water into the sippy cup.  Then the bus started.  I couldn’t keep in sitting next to me, he’d fall.  I tried holding E and pouring water in, but ended up pouring it all over myself.  People around me were simply watching, not offering to help (seriously, what is wrong with this world-you see a screaming baby and a mother attempting to make a bottle and you just think it’s some sort of entertainment).  Finally a nice woman sitting next to me offered to help.  She finished off making the bottle and there was E, happy again.

Currently E is screaming in his crib, resisting sleep.  What a day, what a day.

At least I can say we tried it out…

As I am finishing up Dr. Sear’s Parenting a Fussy Baby and High Need Child, I came across a chart, well, more like a list, of ways that other mothers prevent burnout. This is something that could become a serious reference tool for me (by the way, I never made it to yoga last week…apartment hunting we went instead!).

So here, in no particular order, are the ‘activities’ I hope to take part in to prevent mother burnout.

Take a warm bath, get a foot rub or back massage (I would get those all the time if I could! hint hint A), avoid complaining, practice relaxation exercises, forgive yourself, get lots of rest, don’t watch the clock at night, write letters to friends, forget housework, set aside periods of time to do nothing, spend time with good friends, get a massage, eat what you’d eat on vacation, concentrate on the present, do something creative, hire a teen

So it seems the overwhelming theme with this list is to not clean the house, and pamper yourself when you can. If my wallet, and A allow, I will attempt to do this as much as possible. Easier said than done as I much prefer a neat, clean house, and just looking at messes drives me mad. But if I can accomplish one thing a week, that will be quite the feat.

So, in an attempt to better understand E, and make myself a better mother, AND try to figure out what is up with all his fussiness, I borrowed Dr. Sear’s Parenting the Fussy Baby and High Need Child from the library. Well, according to Dr. Sears, E shows many qualities of a fussy baby.

Intense-E is super intense. When he eats solids, his hands shake because he is so excited. His doctor has said many times that he is an intense baby.

Hyperactive-Don’t starting going all ADD on me-it’s just that E is very busy. This term, as Dr. Sears points out, does not mean that the child will have ADD or some form of hyperactive disorder, simply that right now they have crazy energy. I guess E takes after me on that one.

Draining-Um, yea. Every day, all day, E drains me of every ounce of my being. Sometimes in a good way, sometimes in a not so good way. At least he’s getting all of me, there’s no substitutions!

Feeds Frequently-9 times a day in 13 hours, need I say more?

Demanding-Yup, E is demanding. If I put him in his high chair to attempt to do the dishes (mind you he has toys, is facing me, and I am talking to him the WHOLE time), he won’t let me do them. Sometimes if I give him a snack to eat while I do the dishes, he’ll comply, but it’s only with food.

Awakens Frequently-Only in the nap sense, but he does. No more than 30 minutes go by and WAH! he has awoken. Nighttime is his time to shine, sleep wise.

Unsatisfied-I can’t tell you how many times a day I try everything I can think of to calm down E, entertain him, make him happy, and often nothing seems to fit the bill. He knows exactly what he wants, and I don’t. That’s a problem.

Unpredictable-Dr. Sears mentions in this ‘trait’ that the babes have some sort of mood swings. Sometimes A and I will wonder what we’ve done to upset E. “He was just so hapy a minute ago. What went wrong??”

Supersensitive-E is very sensitive to new places and new people. When we went to NH around Christmas, we were there for a few nights and each night, he wouldn’t sleep-I think he slept a total of 12 hours in 4 nights while we were there. Wow.

Unable to be Put Down-My body aches every day from carrying him around. He is starting to weigh so much and still insists, and is happiest, when I’m holding him.

Uncuddly-YEA! He doesn’t fit this one. Thank goodness. I want so badly for him to be cuddly.

Not a Self-Soother-Nope, not at all. He sucks A and my fingers, not his own. He can’t figure out how to self soothe…

Separation-Sensitive-I’m not so sure on this one…I suppose it’s described that he really needs me around, which has been the case before, but we haven’t been separated too much recently. He does seem more anxious around strangers now though…which is also where he’s supposed to be developmentally…oh well.

So, out of all of the above, E fits into all but one category. I’m not so sure about the advice given in this book-a bunch of it is wearing your babe around (seriously, I am in so much pain already), different soothing techniques, things that just haven’t worked for us. They claim that ‘this too will pass’ but it is so difficult to see the future when I’m living in this day to day. One of the only ways I can get through it is by waking up, taking each day as a new day. I can never stay frustrated or angry with E…all his little mannerisms make him so incredibly easy to love. I just hope his time being a newborn and infant does not completely put A and me off having another child.