Filed under: life | Tags: judging, Naptime is the New Happy Hour, Stefanie Wilder Taylor
“This self-loathing moment has been brought to you by your local Smug Mama; those moms who will look you straight in the eye and say, ‘Oh, my child doesn’t watch TV.’” Stefanie Wilder Taylor, Naptime is the New Happy Hour
Admittedly E has not watched television (well, it has been on, but the Food Network doesn’t really seem to hold his attention) for a few months now. When we lived in our old apartment, one of the few peaceful times during the day was when E was in his exersaucer and PBS was on. Yea yea, only for about 10/15 minutes a day, that was all I could bring myself to do. But when I read this quote, it struck such a chord.
The author goes on to say that the more the parent claims the children abstain from said activity, the more the children actually partake in it. HA! Damn parents. Don’t we have enough to worry about without feeling judged with every decision we make (am I the only one?)!?
I also judge, more than I should, but not as much as I used to. Parenting has brought a new aspect on people into my life. Whatever that parent is doing with the child, by letting her scream, or him eat a donut, makes perfect sense at that moment. The child will not fail out of college because of this choice (however, putting your 2 year old to bed, every night, at midnight is utterly unacceptable and may be why he runs all over the house, demanding things of you-see previous post).
And I used to be a Smug Mama (partially at least), or felt like one. As time has passed, I am hoping the smugness has as well.
As I was driving home from MJ’s house today (and going through my old neighborhood, SOB), I saw a mother with her son. Aw, how cute, I thought. Then I saw how the son was dressed-backwards Sox cap with the stiff brim, jacket, baggy jeans, and some bling…he was maybe 3 years old. Wow, I thought again, why would you dress such a young kid like that? Then I realized how awfully hypocritical I was being. Here I dress E in babyGap, Ralph Lauren, the preppy stuff, and it’s the same, just all preppy and not all hip hoppy. Why would I think that what I do is any different than what that mother does?
What is wrong with me?!? I am very judgmental, as discussed before. I try, REALLY try not to judge, but somehow it’s impossible. I do think I’ve gotten better with time, that I’m not nearly as bad as I used to be, but I want to be even better. Hey, at least today I noticed the lack of consistency in my thoughts…that’s an improvement.
Filed under: family, life, son | Tags: books, judging, Momzilla, motherhood, reading
I just finished reading Momzillas and enjoyed it quite a bit. I don’t have to deal with such uber moms on a regular basis but know how they can be. My favorite quote (however insightful it may be) was:
You can run but you can’t hide. Momzillas are everywhere. Some might compete about being thin, or having better dressed kids, but others compete about being cooler or a better breast feeder.
Ever since having E, I feel that I have judged other mothers less. Prior to his birth, I would always think, sometimes even say, all the things that I wouldn’t do that I had seen other mothers doing. After having E, I began to understand that you do what you must to get by and can see how mothers would do things that didn’t seem to make sense. I wish that I could say that with that realization I no longer judge. What?! Me no longer judging people? Something world changing would have to happen for me to stop judging, but I can say that I now judge mothers a whole lot less than I used to!
I guess the title of this post was to reflect on some mothers and the importance of image. I guess having a Bugaboo stroller is the ultimate waste for me to imagine. Don’t get me wrong-if I were given a Bugaboo, I would use it, and probably enjoy it. But I cannot even fathom spending almost 10 Benjamin’s on a stroller. Maybe because we don’t own a house yet, maybe because I’m all about the bargain hunting, but to spend such a large sum of money on a stroller is something I can never understand.
And apparently I did pretty well with the NBA teams-I missed only 6, not bad, not bad!
