BarefootinBoston

Ok, so it’s been about 2 and a half months since Jack was put down.  I have found myself missing him more in the past week than I did in the past month.  Maybe it’s because I have seen a couple mini schnauzers in the neighborhood walking around (which is quite rare).  Maybe it’s because we’ve moved and essentially everything that was once part of his life is no longer part of our life.  Maybe it’s because I just miss him terribly and don’t have time to think about it on a daily basis with E being so crazy.  Maybe it’s because I want another dog, but we can’t have one in our new apartment, and that makes me miss Jack even more.  Maybe it’s all of these things.  But I do miss him so much.  Just as much as two and a half months ago, luckily without as many tears, but with just as many sad thoughts.

Yesterday was the day I decided to put my dog down…today was the day that the appointment was made. Let me give you a little background first.

My husband and I had been together for many years and were moving into an apartment that accepted dogs. I grew up with dogs and was desperate for a pet. After much searching on petfinder.com, we came across an ‘elderly’ mini schnauzer named Jack. Now, he was the handsomest dog, and able to stay home during the day while we worked, which was also a huge plus. Since we were getting him from a rescue league, we had to go through some hoops, but we met him, adored him instantly, and adopted him soon after. My husband also fell hard, something he didn’t think he would (he was the one who insisted no adopting Jack since he didn’t think anyone else would want an older dog-when we adopted him they guessed him to be 10-12 years old). He lived with my mother for a month until we moved into the dog friendly apartment.

He changed so much from when we adopted him. The rescue lady said that he wasn’t a lap dog, but in months, he was my lap dog. Jumping on the couch, the bed, to snuggle up next to me. He was an affectionate dog and was always so happy when we came home. You would think he was our baby with the number of pictures we took of him (now that we have a baby, we know that isn’t the case).

Enough already-my son was born and Jack went downhill quickly-he had already started before E was born, but once the baby was in the picture, it was worse-accidents in the house, not happy when petted, etc. After 6 months of this, we have decided that the time has come. There is no way he can be happy-he has accidents at least once daily in the house, paces around endlessly, falls over when he shakes off, and snaps at us if we pet him in the wrong spot.

How can I be the one who decides when to end my dog’s life-that’s the hardest part that I am having. I cannot imagine not having him pace about the house-I find myself now counting down the hours I have left with him (67 hours) and crying non stop.

I can only believe that I am making the right decision, that he is in fact in a lot of pain and really isn’t having the quality of life he should be.

But I will miss him so much…